Thunder, lightening, rain falling and breezes pushing branches to scratch on the screen walls of the porch. Cicada songs are so loud during the day that we have to shout at each other as we walk under the trees. The last month has been a wild ride of personal commitments and natural phenomena. I have been away from the blog too long.
I went back to work 2 weeks after the surgery. I was ready; this surgery was pretty easy on me. A bit of pain but not anything like any of the previous surgeries. I was knocked out for a few days after the last blog post probably processing out the general anesthesia, which leads me to ponder the next and final step of the reconstruction process, the "cherry on top", the nipples, and to wonder if I will actually have that piece or continue with the Barbie boobs, or maybe just tattoos...a sun and a moon perhaps? There is a technique of tattooing nipples in a 3-D style that many women choose, and that would avoid a skin graft which is my surgeons technique. I don't know. I meet with the doc in a few weeks to discuss it and will ask questions then. For now, I don't think much about it. I'm concentrating on feeling good.
I started seeing lymphedema patients last week, a week ago today, the same day our niece came from Florida to hang out with us for a week. I was so thrilled to have her, and so distracted by trying to get my chops up for starting this new therapy in which I have been highly trained but have had, up until last week, no real experience. There are so many facets-manual therapy, bandaging, exercise, precautions, lifestyle changes, garments...I have 3 patients now who are all, of course, quite different from one another, and challenge me in a variety of ways. Anyway, the timing was unfortunate as I would have loved to have taken the week off, or at least some of it, to be with her. We got to have some limited quality time, it's never enough, though.
We played at Dulcimer Day on May 15th; last year our performance was the Sunday before I started chemo, if I recall correctly. In answer to the question I'm constantly asked these days, we played "I Feel Good" as our final tune of this year's show. Soul music on the dulcimer; always a wonderful, wacky way to use the twanger. And I do feel good, it felt good to play. Gotta figure out a way to do more of that. I really want to find a band to sing with, want to sing the jazz standards. I miss playing at weddings and bar mitzvahs of all things, not to mention concerts with Sam Moore and others. Nothing can beat the joy of jamming with Dave and Billy, though. We really have a cool sound and a neat little band with Dave on bass, Billy on guitar and me on dulcimer and banjammer. (dulcimer/banjo).
My life is recognizable as my own again, finally, even if the image I see in the mirror still is not so much so. I'm trying to grow my hair out a bit and very short and very curly is not a look I find attractive on me. I feel like Bozo The Clown much of the time with curls and frizz randomly popping up in steel gray messes all over my head. I've tried several hair products with limited success and I think I'm about to resort to hats until the tresses are long enough to use some clips. Short short hair was great until the curl came back, but it's out of control now. So I look in the mirror and see a woman who looks a lot like my mom, a lot like me, but is not the me I recognize, the one I expect to see. Sooner or later I suspect that will change, but I'm not there yet. It's okay, though. I'm good with all of it. I'm very comfortable looking my age.
I went back to work 2 weeks after the surgery. I was ready; this surgery was pretty easy on me. A bit of pain but not anything like any of the previous surgeries. I was knocked out for a few days after the last blog post probably processing out the general anesthesia, which leads me to ponder the next and final step of the reconstruction process, the "cherry on top", the nipples, and to wonder if I will actually have that piece or continue with the Barbie boobs, or maybe just tattoos...a sun and a moon perhaps? There is a technique of tattooing nipples in a 3-D style that many women choose, and that would avoid a skin graft which is my surgeons technique. I don't know. I meet with the doc in a few weeks to discuss it and will ask questions then. For now, I don't think much about it. I'm concentrating on feeling good.
I started seeing lymphedema patients last week, a week ago today, the same day our niece came from Florida to hang out with us for a week. I was so thrilled to have her, and so distracted by trying to get my chops up for starting this new therapy in which I have been highly trained but have had, up until last week, no real experience. There are so many facets-manual therapy, bandaging, exercise, precautions, lifestyle changes, garments...I have 3 patients now who are all, of course, quite different from one another, and challenge me in a variety of ways. Anyway, the timing was unfortunate as I would have loved to have taken the week off, or at least some of it, to be with her. We got to have some limited quality time, it's never enough, though.
We played at Dulcimer Day on May 15th; last year our performance was the Sunday before I started chemo, if I recall correctly. In answer to the question I'm constantly asked these days, we played "I Feel Good" as our final tune of this year's show. Soul music on the dulcimer; always a wonderful, wacky way to use the twanger. And I do feel good, it felt good to play. Gotta figure out a way to do more of that. I really want to find a band to sing with, want to sing the jazz standards. I miss playing at weddings and bar mitzvahs of all things, not to mention concerts with Sam Moore and others. Nothing can beat the joy of jamming with Dave and Billy, though. We really have a cool sound and a neat little band with Dave on bass, Billy on guitar and me on dulcimer and banjammer. (dulcimer/banjo).
My life is recognizable as my own again, finally, even if the image I see in the mirror still is not so much so. I'm trying to grow my hair out a bit and very short and very curly is not a look I find attractive on me. I feel like Bozo The Clown much of the time with curls and frizz randomly popping up in steel gray messes all over my head. I've tried several hair products with limited success and I think I'm about to resort to hats until the tresses are long enough to use some clips. Short short hair was great until the curl came back, but it's out of control now. So I look in the mirror and see a woman who looks a lot like my mom, a lot like me, but is not the me I recognize, the one I expect to see. Sooner or later I suspect that will change, but I'm not there yet. It's okay, though. I'm good with all of it. I'm very comfortable looking my age.
