Written yesterday, 5/31/11 but unable to post for some frustrating electronic reason:
It's the end of May and the temperature is in the 90's. The dog is romping in the yard chasing and snacking on cicadas and Dave and I are relaxing on the screen porch after repainting the iron furniture as the sun goes down and the evening rises. We discuss having a party and I feel invigorated and excited at the prospect, eager to make the plan. Later the cat stretches out next to the steaming bath tub, glad to be near water as is his Maine Coon nature. These days I come home from work, make dinner, putter around the house and have enough energy, usually, to do it all. I recognize this life.
It's interesting how the cancer experience consumes one's life while the immediacy is on, while one is in treatment and recuperating, going from surgery to surgery, chemo to radiation, numerous doctor visits, support groups, frequent naps. But once in full-on survivor mode, having survived and moved on, it's hard to remember how enervated I was for so much of last year. Now as vitality rises again, I'm back to feeling that I can make plans, tackle projects, go to work with gusto. I feel as though I was a survivor while I was going through treatment and now am something else, something beyond that. I have no words for it...I'll have to contemplate this some more. Been there, done cancer, survived it, moved on. But I feel good, and I don't care what you call it. Feeling good is what it's all about.
Some of that good feeling is probably due to being refreshed after the long weekend. I really needed that break from the 5-days-a-week grind and loved having 3 whole days off to hang out with my honey and have minimal scheduled time. And returning today I had a short one. That helps. Tomorrow is a long day; I'm ready.
It's the end of May and the temperature is in the 90's. The dog is romping in the yard chasing and snacking on cicadas and Dave and I are relaxing on the screen porch after repainting the iron furniture as the sun goes down and the evening rises. We discuss having a party and I feel invigorated and excited at the prospect, eager to make the plan. Later the cat stretches out next to the steaming bath tub, glad to be near water as is his Maine Coon nature. These days I come home from work, make dinner, putter around the house and have enough energy, usually, to do it all. I recognize this life.
It's interesting how the cancer experience consumes one's life while the immediacy is on, while one is in treatment and recuperating, going from surgery to surgery, chemo to radiation, numerous doctor visits, support groups, frequent naps. But once in full-on survivor mode, having survived and moved on, it's hard to remember how enervated I was for so much of last year. Now as vitality rises again, I'm back to feeling that I can make plans, tackle projects, go to work with gusto. I feel as though I was a survivor while I was going through treatment and now am something else, something beyond that. I have no words for it...I'll have to contemplate this some more. Been there, done cancer, survived it, moved on. But I feel good, and I don't care what you call it. Feeling good is what it's all about.
Some of that good feeling is probably due to being refreshed after the long weekend. I really needed that break from the 5-days-a-week grind and loved having 3 whole days off to hang out with my honey and have minimal scheduled time. And returning today I had a short one. That helps. Tomorrow is a long day; I'm ready.
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