Sunday, February 20, 2011

Studying in Palm Beach

Oh yeah, if this is work, I'm all for it. Yes, the class is intense. Yes, I'm indoors most of the day, not out playing in the sunshine, and yes, I'm enjoying every minute of it. The anatomy/physiology review and new information, the hands-on techniques, the knowledge that I will be qualified to provide needed treatment for a population of patients who will benefit greatly from the therapy that I'll be able to offer  immediately upon my return - it's all very exciting and gratifying and I'm thrilled to be doing it.

Not to mention that I needed some time out of town, some sunshine, and a break in my routine. I miss Dave and Xena, miss my co-workers, patients and my own bed, but I'm happy to be opening a new door on my future.

Speaking of Dave, I don't think I wrote about my Valentine's day gift from him. It was so cute-he couldn't wait to give it to me and had to spill the beans the week before, like a schoolboy. He found it while he was out pawn-shopping with Billy and swore him to secrecy, but couldn't hold out himself. It's a dulcibanjo, just what I've always wanted. I'll have to post a photo of it. I'm looking forward to playing when I get home; it's the perfect instrument to use to play "Polly Wolly Doodle" ad nauseoum. Thought about bringing it on the road with me, and I'm sorry I didn't but was hesitant to weigh myself down flying for the first time in so long. Now I wish I had it for some distraction. Guess I will have to fill my time with studying and getting some exercise. Darn.

I did work out yesterday. It felt good after sitting on my butt in class for so many hours. I'll have to hit it again tomorrow. But it was nice tonight to go to dinner and spend some time writing here, relaxing. Trying to get back into the groove with writing.

sure is great to have hair again!
Had a scare last week, a week ago tonight actually, when I reached to scratch an itch on my left breast and brushed a hard spot. Found a little ropey knot and a generally ropey, knotty area on the upper left "breast" area, feeling a lot like my old, natural fibro-cystic breasts used to feel in that same area, and area that had sent me running to the ob/gyne many times in the past for breast exams that had always proven negative for any disease other fibrosis and cysts. Found a similar but less pronounced area in the right side. Wrote to my surgeon about it and had a reply saying to come on in right away, and on Tuesday went to see the nurse practitioner in his office rather than wait until Thursday evening, right before leaving for this trip, to see the man himself. The most notable spot on the left was ultrasounded and read as normal tissue. I heaved a sigh of relief and here I am, but it still bothers me a bit.

Since I've stopped being expanded, the tissue in the pec-breast-expanded area  is feeling different, not like a couple of big, hard, plastic Barbie-doll boobs the way they initially did. I think I'll try to see Dr. K and have him poke around on them when I get back just to help me feel a bit better, but I'm choosing to believe the radiologist, who has been following them for just as long, and to be at peace with the verdict that they are normal. The NP told me that there is some breast tissue left after the mastectomy to provide blood supply for the skin, and that this can still exhibit some fibrocystic changes-I've never heard that before, but she should know; I'll do some research later on, after I get back. I guess that particular concern that I had hoped to lose with the choice of the mastectomy is not going to be alleviated. Ah well...it's a reminder to stay in the moment, to breathe deeply and continue to seek peace. All too easy to contemplate scary scenarios; I choose to focus on the beauty of the full moon and the thrill of a new day and new skills, new knowledge. And look forward to the time when I can finally swap out these hard, uncomfortable water bottles in my chest for some soft perma-falsies. 

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