It's been decided. We will postpone our trip to Italy until the fall. Good lord willing and the creek don't rise, as we say around here! I'm trying to be here now with this and not to develop a fatalistic attitude about the trip, not to feel afraid that it simply won't happen. It just seems that we originally started to plan a European vacation for our 20th anniversary, when Dave was diagnosed with lung cancer, then we started to try to do it for the 25th, when I got my big C diagnosis. Then this...it's a zen challenge. Must stay in the present and not jump to the illogical extreme, as, according to Dave, I frequently tend to do.
The benefit of not taking the trip is that I will get to have my next surgery, swapping out these hard-as-rocks water balloons that have been expanding my pecs for the permanent implants that will feel soft like a breast. There's no pain at the moment, but the expanders are annoying and in the way. For work considerations, I would have had to wait until July to do the surgery if we went on the trip, but I can used that time instead to take off for the surgery. So that will take place on April 15th. Over a year post my diagnosis. It's a long road, but I'm feeling good.
Lately I've had a return of the burning mouth syndrome. I've tried to figure out what I was doing during treatment and during the expansions that made the problem disappear. The only things I can think of are high doses of B vitamines and the use of pain killers - valium, oxycodone - during the expansions and the huge amounts of Glutamine that I was taking during treatment. So I'm back to Glutamine twice daily and trying not to forget to take my B vitamins every morning. The pain is not gone, but it is reduced significantly.
Weekends are far too short...
The benefit of not taking the trip is that I will get to have my next surgery, swapping out these hard-as-rocks water balloons that have been expanding my pecs for the permanent implants that will feel soft like a breast. There's no pain at the moment, but the expanders are annoying and in the way. For work considerations, I would have had to wait until July to do the surgery if we went on the trip, but I can used that time instead to take off for the surgery. So that will take place on April 15th. Over a year post my diagnosis. It's a long road, but I'm feeling good.
Lately I've had a return of the burning mouth syndrome. I've tried to figure out what I was doing during treatment and during the expansions that made the problem disappear. The only things I can think of are high doses of B vitamines and the use of pain killers - valium, oxycodone - during the expansions and the huge amounts of Glutamine that I was taking during treatment. So I'm back to Glutamine twice daily and trying not to forget to take my B vitamins every morning. The pain is not gone, but it is reduced significantly.
Weekends are far too short...
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