Every survivor knows the butterflies that occur in the days and nights leading up to the quarterly then semi-annual and later annual visits with the oncologist. The what-ifs and the listing of abnormalities that precede the appointment. I knew that I must be coming on to good news, as I really feel great despite the phenomenal stress that I'm under at the moment. But it was elating to hear Dr. M say, "You look great; you've lost weight" and "Perfect blood work", and to congratulate me for being wise enough to implement her most important survival advice, "Three hours of sweaty exercise a week", by going in to work early each day and pounding it out on the stationary bike. "You work in a fitness center; you have no excuse!" she told me when I whined about it at the previous visit. She also said that my recent loss of the need to nap frequently could be attributed to those morning rides. But then she told me something I didn't expect, that as a participant in a clinical trial, one that has now been unblinded and for which I know I was not a recipient of the experimental drug, I will need to have follow up visits every 3 months, despite also showing a continued relationship with Ned (No Evidence of Disease). I have to admit as she was apologizing for the disruption this will cause, I found myself feeling pleased with the news. I hope the pre-visit trepidation I experienced this time will decrease as time goes on with future sessions, but I like getting to see the doc frequently.
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