I have been away from this blog for a long while now, suddenly distracted by a more pressing health issue-a tumor found during a routine breast screening (MRIs for me as mammograms never show anything in my case), just a few days before my 25th wedding anniversary. Please don't tell me cancer is a gift... A biopsy showed malignancy, but probably early, stage 1, ductal carcinoma, and a lumpectomy shortly thereafter revealed clean margins, but small amounts of disease in 2 of the 6 lymphnodes taken. Ah me....now we are in for the big cancer killing experience of chemo and whatever comes after that. I plan to blog throughout this experience and will try to fill in the early details that I have been just too darn busy to record. I also plan to work, and hope I will be able to achieve that level of normalcy, as I love a routine. I think that will help me.
It's been a wild time, filled with momentous events, as the big flood we have recently experienced here in Nashville gave some valuable perspective to my plight-a personal challenge with opportunity to fight, unlike some of the unlucky flood victims' situations-but it delayed my receiving the pathological result of my surgery as my doctor himself was a flood victim. My meditation skills, always a valuable asset, have been radically improved in an emergency-response fashion; I had to stay calm an extra 3 days before finding out my fate. And while the storm rolled over my house during my surgical convelescence, I sat and watched as rain poured in down the face of the fireplace-a beautiful sight, but indicative of the condition of the roof, which will now be replaced next week.
Surreal-this whole experience has had an aura of that, but as time goes on, it is beginning to feel like a new normal. I feel fine physically, and it is hard to reconcile the concept that I will have to poisen myself to prolong my life. But the fear factor is diminishing and so far, I'm still my same high-energy self. It will be interesting to me to review how each day unfolds. Taking it one day at a time.
No comments:
Post a Comment