Adie in Winter Wonderland

I got lost in a familiar neighborhood yesterday taking a frequent shortcut home. The streets were clear but the snowy landscape confused me. I followed my instinct, and I ended up getting where I was planning to go, but it was a moment of disorientation. Flakes floating down as I leave work thwart my intentions to head to the Y; it's too cold and too concerning that the streets will become more treacherous the longer I wait past sundown to head home. So we spend a lot of time indoors, looking out on the beautiful landscape and dreaming of summer.

I am feeling better with a lot less pain these days, and starting to plan travel. I'm behind on my continuing ed training programs, thinking of taking a session in Sedona next month but not wanting to travel alone and so far no one to go with me. Will need to decide on it soon, and as much as I often enjoy being alone, I'm not feeling eager to do this one on my own. Eager for company, I find myself  trying to cram activities and engagements into my schedule as if I could make up for lost time. Trying to plan carefully, trying to stay focused and be here now all at once. Life is beautiful; balance requires intention, focus, core stability, practice.

I met with the oncologist today to discuss the Metformin trial. It's a study of a drug that controls insulin levels. It's an old drug with minimal side effects, nothing scary, and that usually resolve after a month of use. Usually used for diabetes, but seems by anecdotal evidence to reduce recurrence rates and incidence of breast cancer. It's a randomized trial; I won't know if I get the drug or not if I sign up, but will have to take the pill twice daily. I think I'm going to do it. A patient can always drop out of a trial. If I could get the drug prescribed for me and know that I was taking it I would, but it's not approved for any condition that I have at this time. So I think, once again, I'm going to "donate my body to science". It might help me, it might help someone else; somehow, it might make a difference.