Blog entry 7/22/10 1:20 pm
Alone on a mountain top
It’s our 3rd day of doing not much of anything-snacking, napping, reading, bathing, preparing and eating meals, talking and not talking-it’s been a desperately needed break. We’d had more ambitious plans for this trip, and had thought that in between some of the snacking and sleeping we would drive the approximately 30 miles into Cookeville-a town we’ve visited before and wanted to go back to- and poke around, but the drive up here through the windy mountain roads left Dave carsick the first afternoon, and a heavy rainstorm yesterday afternoon convinced us that we had ample excuse to stay lazily in one spot. How long has it been since we relaxed like this, outside of our home environment filled with responsibilities and distractions? Much as I love my dog, I’m happy to have her safely tucked away at the veterinarian’s office and not requiring any of my attention.
Our friends Natasha and John have lent us this cottage at the edge of the Cumberland Plateau, overlooking lovely Cordell Hull Lake, and with all the luxuries of home save television and internet, my two addictions. At first, thinking about this trip, I was sorry that I would not have the opportunity to relax with those media options, but as we are here, I am very grateful to be forced to detox from them. We have not been without electronic entertainment anyway, (I’m writing this blog in a word processor and will post it when I get home) and we indulged in a French movie film fest last night using the home projector and screen that is kept here. Now we are watching storms blow across the lake, wondering if they will arrive here, and trying to time a trip into the tiny town of Granville to avoid driving in the pounding rain if the storms do make it to us. It will be our first time off of this property since we arrived here on Tuesday, and we have basically eaten all of our food, so need to make the 10-minute trek.
I’m feeling quite well but quite lazy on this trip; I keep thinking about trying some yoga but not having the energy for more than a stretch or a few minutes of deep breathing. I thought about walking down the paved drive and back up for some exercise, but it has been so hot! And buggy; I have mainly stayed on the screened porch to view the scenery as I am so bug allergic, and although I can tell that my white and red blood cell counts have improved, I still don’t want to take a chance of a major bug bite such as what I suffered last year. And I’ve noticed poison ivy as nearby as the edge of the front porch steps; I’m sure my immune system is not up to that. So there is my excuse for my laziness-too much nature around here to be wary of - I’m staying primarily indoors.
A retreat, that’s what this is. Last time I was able to retreat was over a year ago when I went to Beersheba with my game playing crew. That was an amazing weekend; hope to do it again someday soon. Yesterday I got Dave to play Risk with me, which is not quite as much fun with 2 players, and he soon gained world domination by winning South America and Asia; I capitulated gladly, just grateful to have had a chance to play. Can’t remember the last time Dave and I played a game, nor the last time he left Nashville, and the last time we were out of town together has to be a couple of years ago. That is way too long. We are due to make retreating a more regular experience and decided to aim at all long holiday weekends. Labor day is coming up, and I need to make some kind of getaway plans for it.
It’s also been great to just hang out without wig, makeup or clean clothes. No wondering is someone going to come to the door; I can walk around nekked if I please, bald head and scars uncovered without fear of needing to even having to think about covering them up. I’ve been trying to figure out that motivation to cover up my head, aside from concerns about being burned by the sun. I know people will stare at a bald headed woman, but I don’t think that is why I’m wearing the wig. At work, I know exactly why-I don’t want to have to reveal my status or discuss the baldness unless I chose to. I don’t want all conversations to be about me, or for my patients to have to deal with my treatment ahead of their own. I’m not hiding it, but I want the opportunity to choose to disclose it or not. But here in Granville where no one knows me, why do I feel compelled to wear a wig into town? Maybe for the same reason - I just don’t want to have to deal with the subject unless I choose to. I guess that’s it. An openly bald headed woman will be aware of the impact of her baldness on others and it could be tiresome, maybe more so than the discomfort of wig wearing.
Speaking of discomfort, my right foot seems to have improved some, but still worries me a bit. The 4th toe’s color is lighter, but still abnormal, and its painful spots are less painful. I’m still keeping an eye on it but not worrying much about it right now. I have an appointment with a podiatrist in a couple of weeks, and hope that it will be all healed before then, although I’ll probably go anyway just to make sure there is no regime I should be pursuing to avoid future foot woes.
Well, it’s been nice writing, but I feel the call of another snacking/napping/reading cycle preparing to begin.
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