Tomorrow is the last of the AC infusions. I'm glad it's the last of the "Red Angel, but after this, the 12 weekly Taxol infusions begin; they are supposed to be easier to deal with, but it's still a trip off to the unknown. I'm trying not to think about it; trying to not be anxious. Staying busy with work and preparing meals, took a walk for the few free minutes I had at lunch. I will listen to my IPod while falling asleep tonight, but I've kept myself SO busy that I haven’t had time to do all of the meditation, yoga, Tai chi, etc that I had intended. My anxiety level is fairly low, so I guess I’m doing okay.
I may take an atavan to sleep on though. I want to get a good nights sleep, and I generally don’t on the night before an infusion. I’ll start to angst over chores left undone (there’s never enough time to do them all), CD orders not filled (and heaven knows we are eager to continue to sell them), people who have sent me messages of support that I have neglected to reply to via email and phone, and all manner of unfinished business. I struggle with my 2 thoughts on medication at this time in my life-on one hand, I figure I might as well go ahead and use pharmaceuticals as long as I’m also doing the big drugs, but my natural tendency is to keep them to a minimum, and usually I will avoid them when anything else will work, but right now, I just don’t seem to be able to maintain that attitude.
Whatever eases the way, with consideration of the health of my liver and kidneys.
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