Wow....amazing pain and the having of it; how was I pain free a couple of days after surgery? My brain must have just checked out in that department for a while. Today I went to see the plastic surgeon ahead of schedule for a follow up because I was having some trouble with my drains and was also concerned about some bruising. Dr. W was not concerned; he had the nurses whip those drains out but not until after he actually gave me my first fill up! I had heard that the "expansions" did not begin until 3 weeks after surgery, but he said that if I could tolerate it, it would be better to get it going before scarring down any further. Well, I'm still taking the big dog pain pills, so I can tolerate it, but I wouldn't want to try without the meds. Thank goodness Anita had driven me to the appointment-I didn't have the drugs with me, but I still don't think I could've driven home safely. Feels like I've got strapping tape cinched tight around my chest. The scar tissue under my left arm from the axillary node biopsy done during my initial surgery is talking to me and the pain in my armpit that I had thought was past has returned. When I am healed up enough to do some serious myofascial release to the area between my neck and my waist, I'll be able to deal with this better, but right now, I am grateful for codine and muscle relaxers.
But part of the problem is actually a good thing-nerves are waking up. The backs of my upper arms had been numb and now have nearly-normal feeling. I have some nerve pain in the breast area including some occasional zingers and some "phantom nipple" sensations that I hope will settle down as time goes on...it is changing daily...but I'm happy not to be totally numb. I'm glad to have the nagging irritation of the drains gone, but the sites are pretty sore so far. Maintaining proper posture takes even more intention and attention than pre-surgery. Gentle self-massage helps, but man, this is intense. Curious what tomorrow will feel like.
Dave is healing well; his home nurse came today and showed me how to dress his wound. He doesn't have much of an appetite; I have waves of ravaging hunger and fortunately plenty of delicious freshly prepared food provided by friends to tame it. He is frustrated that I am taking care of him rather than he me, but ya do what ya gotta do. I am much more relaxed now that he is home. I think we will need to do some inspirational speaking when we are well...I'm inspired anyway, that we have gotten this far through this ordeal and are still doing a lot of laughing about it. Tears are acceptable too, of course. I was prepared to experience pain during this recuperation, I just didn't expect the particular, surprise emotional side of it nor could I have imagined the actual intensity and type of sensation of this pain. I do believe I will be able to manage it and to be drug free again at some point; women who have been through this have told me that it becomes normal, unnoticed, but I have a long way to go before I get there.
I will take some pictures soon...this process should be interesting.
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