Gratitude

This is it; even as I write, I'm receiving the last drops of chemo. I'm just about done here. The side effects will probably go on awhile, but with the knowledge that I'm healthy and finished with this long experience, I feel that I'll be able to tolerate them and to reconcile myself to them without the need for pain killers. Maybe some physical therapy, but not until after my surgery. I am quietly thrilled to be at this point and in a position to plan to have my teeth cleaned, my toenails spruced up and to freely eat salad once again all in a couple of weeks from now. Hallelujah!

I'll keep taking the Glutamine; apparently the side effects of the Taxol are partially delayed and long lasting, perhaps taking the next couple of years to fully wear off. The pain I've noticed along the border of my left breast, the heart palpitations and dizziness over the last couple of weeks, all of these are deemed by my oncologist to be in response to the neurotoxic factor of the Taxol of which I've now had 12 treatments. Hopefully, continued Glutamine consumption will lead to continued nerve and digestive support.

My sister and others have warned me that there is an inevitable let down after chemo is through. Suddenly, you're done, with checkups every few months, but none of the intensive attention that go on during the treatment. And you wonder and you worry about every new ache or pain and you get the blues. I will try to steel myself for this, and to consider myself forearmed by the forewarning. Besides, I have a followup appointment with my breast surgeon a week from tomorrow, and surgery to schedule and then the surgery itself and rehab afterward, Christmas/New Years off, and frequent visits to the doctor for expansions as I transition from the expanders to being large enough to accommodate the implants. I expect that if I'm going to get the "after cancer blues" they are going to hit me after I'm done rebuilding my chassis.

Today is a beautiful day. I'm excited to be alive in it.