Today was the first Friday in a long time that I didn't crash. I actually had pretty normal energy today. It is 10:30 at night and I have been out to celebrate my end of chemo with the office crowd who wouldn't let me pay for a thing...too sweet of them as I really feel as if I should've treated them. It's humbling how generous and supportive my coworkers have been, and I know they have made things soft on me, but working has been so helpful to me. I'm sure this would have been a rougher road to travel if I hadn't been able to work. Now that I feel myself coming out of the fog, I just don't want to expect myself to do so much more that I become as worn out as I was at the time that I was diagnosed.
I've also been out to hear some friends play at Brown's Diner and sit with Dave as he ate his dinner and I nursed a beer to be justified in taking my space at the bar. It was nice to be out in the kind of environment in Nashville that charmed me from the start. And to have the energy required to be spontaneous and to jump on a chance to go out and spend time with my husband.
I've spent so little time out aside from going to work that I am not unrecognized frequently; I don't see much of anybody I know. But tonight a friend I hadn't seen in a long time introduced himself to me. I tried to stop him from being embarrassed about it, but he was. How could he know? I had very distinctive hair b.c. (before chemo), and the boy-cut I've got now, all silver-and-gunmetal, is a very different look. I kinda like it. I don't mind the very short hair thought at all, but I'd like a bit more of it. Anyway, I'm sorry anyone is embarrassed if they don't recognize me, but it's kind of fun sometimes to be incognito.
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