Taxol #11-one more to go

I'm getting it right now -the  next-to-last chemo infusion, 15 of 16 all together, 11 of 12 Taxols. Wow...it's been a long haul. I want to have a party to celebrate, at least with my co-workers, and will have to contact them to see if we can find a time to go have a drink or two. I think about bringing a cake, but them, I don't really want to eat sugar beyond the little bit that's added in the tart frozen yogurt I love or the 1 oz  of dark chocolate I eat nearly every day. I'm trying to be moderate about my neurotic avoidance of certain foods, sugar being the lead suspect in the dark underworld of cancer-promoting nutritional villians. I avoid it as much as I can without going crazy. I would probably feel even better and look much better if I could avoid it altogether. So no cake, but another way of celebrating will surely come to mind at some point. Right now all I can think about is dinner.

It's weird to be so hungry with chemo when the stereotypical chemotherapy patient is emaciated and nausiated with therapy. I remember it being that way for Dave; I fretted over him and made smoothies stuffed with as many healthy super-food nutrients and calories as I could get into them, hovering over him as he ignored them, begging him to just drink 2 ounces an hour. He did choke it down and it got him through, and eventually he gained some weight back. Despite the steriods he was given weekly with the therapy, he remained skinny and got skinnier. But I am gaining weight steadily, though not eating more than my pre-cancer normal. It's frustrating, and I'm trying not to worry about it until done with therapy. They say it's the steroids although I am getting a very minimum dose of them.  I really enjoyed the leaner frame I experienced for a few months at the start of this adventure. Probably would help if I were getting more exercise; again, after chemo. After next week, no more steroids, no more poison, no more excuses...until the next surgery.
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Of course it makes sense that one must be well nourished to do well while going through chemo hell, and to recuperate fully. So celebrating a healthy appetite by eating well and the resultant weight gain is probably okay right now, but I'm very bored of fighting it. I've been quite happy to have left my ovaries and the worries I battled over their health behind with my first surgery this year, but my concern about letting both of them go was partially a fear of fatness and I can't help musing that perhaps the trend I'm seeing is related to the hormonal lack. Initially, after the ooferectomy, I maintained a low weight with no effort and was elated about that. Then I started to worry about it, one of the preminitory senses I had before my diagnosis that cancer might be in my future, that perhaps my low weight maintenence was not a good sign. Then after diagnosis I was afraid to eat or drink anything and weight fell off me for a couple of months, to the point that I started to worry about that. So I guess there's just no pleasing me. Somewhere, somehow, I'll find the balance point.

My repaired juicer arrived and was waiting on the doorstep when we got home this afternoon. I made a wonderful refreshing fresh wheatgrass shot and am now enjoying the autumn breeze on the back patio, trying to get enough energy together to walk the dog. Saturday, the Race for the Cure is on; Xena and I will walk with a group of friends among the throng. If you'd like to sponsor me, my personal page is

Personal Race for the Cure page

Don't worry about it; we are all overly called upon to donate time and money. I always mean to contribute more that I do or even can, but I am looking forward to this walk as a celebration of nearing the end of this phase of cancer treatment and survival.  Anyway, Saturday mornings I generally have an outing with Xena; this one'll blow her doggie mind!

Hope your day is as beautiful as the one we are having here. Be well.