Lots of meditation preceeded the day's event, and I was pretty calm. But not totally; I came pretty close to fainting this morning after having my "port accessed" and having blood drawn. Not sure what caused me to need to be laid back in my chair with a cold wash cloth on my head before I could stand up securely and go along my way. The nurse thought it was an anxiety based Vagal nerve response; the doctor said that a lot of folks with the port find that a blood draw from that area of the body, the vena cava, just leaves them feeling that way for a bit; the blood comes out fast. I will try to have them lay me back in advance next time.
I was happy that I recovered quickly enough to go on ahead and go to work. It helped to distract me, and let me be ready to focus on myself later. Dave met me at my clinic at 12:30 and we walked across the street to the cancer center. I had already delivered my 24 hour urine collection from the previous day (part of a research project in which I'm participating), and I had a 15 minute blood pressure test, which involves blood pressure checks of the tips of my index finger and a 5 minute squeeze to the arm (part of the same research project) before the chemo began.
The Adriamycin gives me the willies; it is not delivered via drip but must be pushed. It needs to go in very small amounts at a time, diluted by saline, and monitored by the nurse doing the administration. It has the potential to scar vascular tissue, which is why it is important for to be dilute, and why a little knowlege is a dangerous thing; it is that knowledge that makes me so nervous when it goes in. I gave in to Atavan today. It helped. Now, though, I'm struggling to stay awake. I think I'll have to add details tomorrow.
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