It's gratifying and terrifying all at the same time to know that friends and family are reading this; I swore to myself that it was going to just be whatever is going on, so that I can also use it as a reference for my symptoms when I report to the doctor, and today I must discuss constipation. So if you just don't want to know, skip this entry. I may regret this in the future....
This morning at work, I started having some very formidable low back pain-consistent, shooting, sharp, sometimes breathtaking. I slapped on a spare TENS unit and tried to ignore and work through it, but eventually noticed that it increased when seated and improved when standing. I did a lot of standing manual therapy today-not my usual.
Finally, I started to assume that this was pain from Neulasta, a medication given the day after Chemo infusion to boost white blood cell count and thereby, immunity. Makes sense, and I'm glad to get the shot, but they say a side effect can be profound bone pain. My sister Janet reports that she had it during her treatment and that it was agonizing. So for a while, I just figured, well, I guess this is that. But bone pain wouldn't be improved with standing, stretching, walking....and be intensified when trying to eliminate. I finally said to myself "this is a pinched nerve". And I remembered that I have been pretty constipated over the last few days; surprising considering the amount of fruits and veggies I'm consuming along with whole grains, flax seed and the like, but these drugs have the rep for causing this. I started using a senna laxative the other day but it hadn't fully kicked in.
After work, I went to see the chiropractor/acupuncturist and he fixed me up. I felt much better leaving his office, but still had some hints of the pain. Then things started moving. And they have continued moving. The pain, now at 9:30 this evening, is practically gone. Just goes to show how the body really wants every little thing to be working in harmony to feel at peace. I am much more peaceful now.
Another helpful moment of the day was learning the Tai Chi "healing walk" Qi Gong practice from our instructor Rusty after work today; I have practiced it a bit this afternoon and will begin doing it in the morning, and will do it as often as I'm able as it feels just great. I wanted some Tai Chi back in my life, and this exercise will give me a start back in that direction. Trish, who is a friend, survivor and inspiration to me told me about this, and I'm thrilled to begin. Trying to fully learn the lessons of this diagnosis; fully intending to never have this diagnosis again.
I refer to this "diagnosis" because my theory is that I am cancer free right now; the tumor was excised with wide clean margins, and only 2 of the 6 or 7 lymph nodes removed showed small amounts of cancerous cells. I believe my lymphatics did their job and that the point of the treatment now is to scout out any stray cancer cells that may be lurking somewhere in the system and take them down. I see myself as a survivor already. And having a pretty nice life in between treatments, too! But I'll use all means to maintain that healthy, survivor status, and that includes meditation, massage, acupuncture, laughter, love, nutrition and a healing walk. And basking in the good vibrations I feel coming my way everyday.
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